The House Collective

bangkok.

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On the way back from Yangon, we stopped in Bangkok for the weekend. Since we were already paying the flight to go through, we thought we’d enjoy some more fun as a family!

Bangkok had more highs than lows, but still had some lows. We’re still learning how to address some discipline issues with Oak, while working toward attachment and language skills. All while learning to do life in the community with a toddler, deal with chikungunya, and manage mounds of paperwork.

Oh, and make sure he eats, sleeps, and has clothes to wear.

It’s was three months ago today we met him; and what a full three months!

Here I’ll just mention our highest highs from Bangkok.

1) Some friends in Mae Sot mentioned a free exhibit offered at one of the universities in Bangkok. It was sponsored by an eco-friendly toy company and had a variety of educational activities for kids to do.

2) We did IKEA. It’s sort of a high, sort of a low; I usually walk in loving it and leave hating it! But Oak had fun playing with all the toys. He also LOVES chairs, particularly stackable ones, so we did some re-stacking of chairs and stools.

3) The trains. Our favorite hotel is within view of the BTS line, so trains are running all day every day. They can be seen from every floor and the swimming pool and the street, so we did a lot of shouting, “TRAIN!” And of course we rode it around town, which Oak really, really loves.

4) While we were there we went to our favorite pizza place in town, of course. We’ve both decided it might be our favorite pizza in the world, so we frequent it. We’ve been known to tell friends in Mae Sot to try it; we’ve taken family members who visit.

We like it.

This time one of the waitresses came right up to us to tell us she’d seen us on the news! She recognized us when we were all in yellow for our interviews about adoption.

I’m not sure what it says about us that a pizza place nine hours from our home recognizes us, but we’ll take it. 🍕🍕🍕

5) One morning at the hotel, the staff in the hallway were speaking Burmese to one another. I heard it from the room and mentioned something to Stephen. Oak, too, heard it and pointed toward the door, so I asked if he heard the Burmese and if he wanted to go say hi. He was so excited, so we went out to tell the staff we speak Burmese! It’s so fun seeing how fast he’s picking up both Burmese & English, even able to recognize it and separate it from Thai and other languages.

6) The weekend was also Thai Mother’s Day, and my first with Oak! After a few years of being honored at church, but also wishing it wasn’t the neighbor kids giving me a flower, it was a treat to hold him.

Trying to get to my Starbucks coffee without walking the babe wrapped in my arms: first world problem.

When we checked in to fly home, the airline had a photo booth set up for Mother’s Day. As we went by, the explained they would print out a photo for free. Stephen, with three bags in tow, kept walking toward the counter, and the employee looked at me dumbfounded: “Free! I said free. He didn’t understand?” I explained we’d just check in all these and be right back. We did, and it was totally worth it.

And now we’re home. With visas! (Clearly I’m still celebrating over here.)

yangon.

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High: Yangon was so good to us! First, we were greeted with a personal sign at the hotel.

Low: These steps entering the hotel, which we had to climb multiple times a day with chikungunya and a two-year-old. Imagine your great-grandmother climbing them three times a day, and that was me. 😢

High: The hotel had a fish pond, where we could say “hi” and “bye” to the fish each time we passed! The staff also let Oak feed them, which was just so sweet (and he’d seen it on Mister Rogers 😍).

Low: He decided one day to feed the fish an orange slice as we went by. While it was sweet that he shared, Stephen had to pull it out!

High: It is so nice to speak the language of the place you are! {What a novel idea.🙄} I know it’s our odd life and choices that make it so we live in Thailand while working with and speaking to Burmese folks, but it was so fun to speak to everyone! It was so easy. It was also fun that Oak has learned a few Burmese phrases and was a big hit with everyone we encountered!

High: We got our one year visas! And since that was the goal and a miracle, it was a very big high to our trip!

High: We found some lovely restaurants and enjoyed the Burmese food so much. Almost every place also had lovely staff who would love on Oak, bringing toys or taking him for a bit. At this particular restaurant, as we paid and started to leave, Oak gave the waiter a kiss on the cheek, much to the waiter’s & our surprise 😂

High: Our hotel had a lovely view of People’s Park & Shwedagon Pagoda–even more stunning at night.

High: We were able to enjoy some really lovely historical places in the city. We visited the Secretariat, where the top eight leaders in the 1940s were assassinated. This was a huge piece of history, and having read and studied quite a lot of Burmese history, we really enjoyed seeing the restored British buildings and seeing the history captured there.



Low: Bringing a two-year-old to museums and historical sites isn’t too easy.

High: We visited the National Museum; our favorite exhibition being the history of the Burmese language. Since it has become a huge part of our lives to study this, we found it so intriguing.

Low: One of the staff members at the museum followed us for an entire wing, excited that we spoke Burmese. She was also thoroughly confused at Oak, perhaps not understanding the idea of adoption. She commented multiple times, “But he doesn’t look like either of you.”

High: The British influence on Myanmar has left some beautiful architecture in Yangon, including this cathedral!

High: It rained nearly our whole time in the city, which is a high for us! We love rainy, chilly days. It was beautiful and dreary. And if you’re going to either be wet from sweat or rain, I’d choose rain any day.

High: The tea shops! We really love Burmese culture. It feels like home, and we just enjoyed so many moments of this trip.

High: We went to a pizza place to celebrate our successful visas, and found a surprise play place! Not only did we eat delicious pizza, but Oak was able to run and play. He loved it!

High: We followed this with ice cream in the downstairs shop.

Low: We broke all three spoons they gave us.

(These lows are seeming very minor. Clearly this trip was great 😊)

High: There is a circular train around Yangon–a personal favorite of mine. We took Oak for a trip on the train, and he loved it! He was thrilled even when we were delayed for flooded tracks.


High: Rangoon Tea House is a modern, fun twist on the traditional Burmese tea shop. And it lived up to the hype! It was some of the best Burmese fare I’ve ever had, and a lovely environment.

Low: We spent one morning in search of a few promised parks. It really resulted in an hour walk, a few taxi rides, and some disappointing parks.

Low: Part of the playground equipment a drop off blocked with bamboo, while another part was held up by a ladder. 😳

High: This kid is still fun and adorable.

High: Oak has really liked watches recently, so as an incentive for good behavior he earned a watch over a few days. We made a trip to the local shop to pick out a watch for him. He was so proud! And even went back to show the hotel staff.

Overall, Myanmar isn’t always considered the comfiest place to be, but we love it. Stephen and I were both amazed at how at home we felt, how much we loved using the language, how much we loved seeing Oak with the Burmese staff. We left with new visas, a few lovely days as a family, and relatively few lows!

chikungunya.

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Chikungunya: code for THE WORST.

Really, it means “to become contorted” in a Tanzanian language where it was first identified.

If you aren’t sure what it is, chikungunya is a mosquito-transmitted virus, similar to dengue fever or Zika. The symptoms are high fever, joint pain, itchy rash, & joint swelling. And Stephen and I were lucky enough to get it (with about half of our town!) last month.

At our public hospital (used by many legal, local residents (but doesn’t include many illegal or legal immigrants) was reporting 200 new cases per day in late July, in addition to those who weren’t going to the hospital or visited other clinics or hospitals. Nearly half of our community had it. Thankfully, Oak hasn’t gotten it yet!

Of all the things Stephen & I have dealt with here in Mae Sot–dengue fever, dog bites, scabies, food poisoning, staph infections–we’d both say chikungunya has been the worst. (We both had scabies for four months before it was diagnosed. My staph infections led to two surgeries. Dengue is also called bone-crushing disease. Guys, it’s AWFUL.)

I woke up on a Sunday morning and walked out of the room wondering, “Hmm. It feels like my foot is broken. How do I not remember hitting it? Or dropping a huge piece of furniture on it?”

I limped around, until a few hours later, my other ankle suddenly weakened. It felt sprained. I was so confused: how did I not recall these injuries? I didn’t even remember bumping anything.

Within a few hours, I had a high fever and everything throbbed. I remember laying in bed that afternoon and thinking the pillow was so painful. Both of us would wake ourselves in the night to our own groaning.

I laid in bed for two days until my fever subsided and the rash came. Red bumps, all over; shockingly similar to the rash with dengue. And all so, so itchy. For me, the rash lasted for about five days. The whole week I hobbled around like I suddenly aged a hundred years, leaning over, struggling to get up, groaning in pain. Throughout the community, you could see exactly who had it: we were truly contorted.

As we left for Yangon the following Sunday it was a week after my symptoms started. Stephen’s symptoms were completely gone at eight days, so as I limped up the steps in the airports and we carted Oak and luggage together, Stephen kept telling me it was almost over.

Yangon and Bangkok were hard. We walked many miles and went up many steps. We carried Oak for days and days. And my pain really didn’t go away. Some days were worse than others, but they were all pretty bad. I was just an old lady making my way through the cities and airports with a toddler.

And then we returned, and I think that’s when it hit me: we were well past eight days. And it was still throbbing. Something different every day or two, but each morning I’d barely stumble out of bed, feeling like my right foot was broken one day, and the next day my neck didn’t move. The following day I couldn’t lift my left arm; the next I couldn’t use my right shoulder.

As it turns out, for some, chikungunya symptoms of pain and joint swelling can last anywhere from a month up to a year. A YEAR, folks. Stephen laid in bed on the first day he was sick, reading up on the CDC website and telling me about this approximately ten percent of people with long-lasting symptoms. I told him that was pessimistic: why would that be him? It will be fine.

He told me that if half the community gets it, ten percent actually becomes pretty high. And while those statistics are hard to argue, I still felt it was pessimistic.

But its looking like I’m in this ten percent. My optimism didn’t even help me.

Instead, I’m slowly–very, very slowly–stepping out of bed every morning to see which bone will feel broken that day. I’m going to sleep with swollen feet and struggling to use my swollen fingers to open water bottles. I’m still waking Stephen when I groan from pain the middle of the night.

Guys, I’m OLD all the sudden. With a two year old! Whom, I might add, really struggles to understand why one day mom can’t walk and the next she can’t pick him up.

It’s THE WORST.

So, say a prayer with us! Please pray I’m nearly done. One month comes next week, and I’m praying, praying, praying that its nearly over.

the year of paperwork.

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Sometime during our travels to France and the States last year, I looked at my passport and realized I’d need to renew it soon to allow for the six-month validity required to enter and exit most countries.

And then I glanced at all the other paperwork I held–probably on a plane headed somewhere; the perfect place to pull out all your documents and realize they are all about to expire. Many, many things would be expiring soon, hopefully just as we’d be placed in our adoption.

Taking note (and learning from when we had to rush Stephen’s passport renewal a few years ago!), I made a calendar of 2019 specifically noting all the things that needed renewals and applications. It included:
April: my American drivers license and my Thai drivers license
May: Stephen’s work permit, our current Thai visas (requiring us to cross the border for an additional 90 days)
June: our car, one year until my passport
July: our motorbike
August: our Thai visas (this time requiring a visit to a neighboring embassy)
September: Stephen’s American drivers license

Let the paperwork begin.

I started the process for renewing my American drivers license in January. After five late night calls to the Arkansas DMV, I received my new license last week, in the first week of August. That’s eight months.

Because of this, we began the process for Stephen’s American licesnse in June. Here’s too hoping.

I started the process for renewing my Thai drivers license on 15 April. Simply trying to renew my license as a housewife on Stephen’s work permit proved very, very difficult. It also revealed that we hadn’t “registered our re-entry” the last time we entered Thailand, so we had to rush across the border early, in May, to avoid significant fines and appease the angry immigration officers. I also had to wait to renew my license until immigration sent an approval letter, which took many, many weeks.

After about fifteen visits to the Thai DMV on most of the Wednesdays and Fridays of April, May, June, & July, both with and without a child in tow, I was able to renew my license on 17 July. I wore my yellow shirt & I said my red-green-yellow colors in Thai to win hearts. I watched an hour of motorbike and car crash footage that hopefully will make me a better driver. Overall, it took three months.

Stephen’s work permit, and our motorbike and car renewals all went without incident, just requiring paperwork.

And then last week, we made our trek to Yangon to apply for new visas. In order to do this, we needed a passport for Oak, which we got in Bangkok in June (another trip, another office, more paperwork). We also needed paperwork giving us permission to travel with him outside of Thailand, which we asked for in May. It was approved on Friday–three months after it was requested and just two days before we left. This wasn’t enough time for it to get to us in Mae Sot, so we took a photograph of the paperwork with us, and hoped for the best.

Just days before we left, I made a sad realization. I was filling out our visa applications and saw the notice: When applying for a one-year visa, it’s required that you have eighteen months remaining on your passport.

Eighteen months!? I had ten. And just a few days to: change plans? attempt to renew my passport in Bangkok?

After some research, it would be impossible to renew my passport in that time, as they don’t offered expedited services overseas. And changing plans would add up in cost quickly, so our boss advised us to try for it. She said it might work, and if not–well, Stephen would likely get a year and I’d be given three months, until I had to return to Yangon to apply again.

Honestly, I was pretty sad. I’ve never made a renewal calendar before; and here it wasn’t even helping! I had worked so hard to not make mistakes on our paperwork, particularly with Oak in the mix, and failed.

The trip was starting out on a stressful foot, as we boarded our first flight without Oak’s proper paperwork and with slim hopes of me getting a year visa.

At airport immigration, they stamped Stephen & I out without incident, and we were a day before our visas expired. (An accomplishment for us, unfortunately. I have two shame-inducing “LATE” stamps in my current passport.😔) Once stamping us out, the immigration officers noticed Oak’s passport was for Thailand, and seemed skeptical. They asked for all our paperwork for him; they called over supervisors and made copies and whispered among themselves for nearly half an hour, while Stephen & I held up the long immigration lines and said prayers. With us already stamped out, we couldn’t actually “return” back into Thailand if there was a problem with Oak’s paperwork! Thankfully, after thoroughly scaring us, Oak was stamped out of Thailand we gave our gracious thank yous.

As we boarded the plane, barely catching lunch at 3pm and Oak lacking a nap, trying to calm our nerves, Stephen said, “Whew! They let us all leave!”

And I pessimistically replied with, “…Now we just have to figure out how to get back in.” And that became the week’s goal.

The stressors weren’t over. We showed up to the Thai Embassy as a matching family of yellow, requesting one-year visas. While they asked us absolutely nothing about Oak, they did deny our visas three times. Each time they’d tell us a reason, we’d counter it: Wait! I have that document! and I can get that, one minute! Surprisingly, none of the denials were because of my passport! And after a very stressful morning, they accepted our visas, granted us one-year each!

And so we’re back. I’ll post more about our fun adventures in Yangon and Bangkok, but for now: thankful we are back home as a family of three. (That is more of a miracle than I could say!) Thankful for another year in the Kingdom of Thailand!

rattling.

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A few months ago at a worship night we were singing Reckless Love, about God chasing us down with a overwhelming love we don’t deserve and couldn’t earn if we tried. The bridge is:

There’s no shadow you won’t light up,
mountain you won’t climb up
coming after me
There’s no wall you won’t kick down,
lie you won’t tear down
coming after me

While this is true for me and I can sing this for me, on this particular evening, I was just aching for a few of my neighbors. With all honesty, there are some days I ache that I can’t change their story here. I can only look to eternity. And even in that, I can plant seeds and water them–for years!–but I cannot make them grow. I just cannot.

There are days I feel like I am planting and watering for days and years on end, with my hands tied.

And as we sang this together, I was sad that this is about me; and sometimes I’m sad that so many of our Western worship songs are. Because while it’s true he pursued me like this, he also pursues them like this. He pursues us like this.

All the mountains that I see; the impossible: he can and will climb them–for her. For him. For them. For us.

All the lies that are believed. The lies that destroy. The lies that take root deep: he can and will tear them down for her. For him. And for them. For us.

——-

Fast forward a few weeks. Now I’m sitting in a worship night, again, now with my son on my back. He’s wrapped up in a sling, eating chicken over my shoulder, giving me kisses in the middle of my back. He’s watching his dad and The Reinforcers run sound, giggling when they look over at him. He’s watching the band, always mesmerized by music. He’s watching the little baby learning to crawl in the corner.

We’re singing the same songs, but now, I’m praying them for our community; while holding this beautiful, redemptive answer to prayer on my back.

I’m looking at us; I’m so thankful. So thankful for Stephen, as I watch him with these young men and the life he has chosen to lead. So thankful for the relationships we have here and the things that keep us here. So thankful for this little boy that has just brought us so much joy and given us so much hope.

I remembered back to when Stephen and I were dating. We spent most of our dating relationship long distance while we finished our degrees in different states. It was hard to balance work and school and trying to see each other; it was expensive. And I’m so glad I survived all those times I tried to drive home at midnight or start my trip at 5am.

Honestly, I remember feeling like it was a bit unfair. As I watched friends dating in the same city; it just felt like it was harder than necessary.

But then we got married, and he’s just the best thing ever. We spend every day together, and that’s something so many couples can’t say: either they can’t do that for life circumstances or for sanity circumstances, but we do. And while I can only speak to ten years, most of those ten years I’ve felt like he was the best part of every day, the best part of life. Particularly once we moved to Mae Sot, marriage was the easy part. It was the breather at the end of the day.

So all that “hard”–was just for the best thing ever.

And then we started this adoption process; y’know, three long years ago. There were a lot of times in there I wondered why it was so hard. We knew people who started and completed the process stateside within our waiting period. We knew people who were placed while we waited. We knew people who got married and had kids within in that time.

And I wondered why it had to be this hard. I wondered why we had to wait this long or why it had to hold so many unknowns. I wondered if we should just have our own, because it might just be easier.

It was a very long three years, and I’ll be honest, we were wearing very thin. So many people advised us to give up or consider other options–which we had; but still, it was sad. I was heartbroken that this just might not happen.

And then Oak. He’s the best, guys. Again, I’m only speaking from two months, so who knows what’s ahead? But as I held him, I just saw how much we waited for THIS. This exactly. Him. Now. Exactly like this.

What if we had left? What if last year, when I simply didn’t want to come back and wait–what if we hadn’t? What would we be like now without him? We’re only two months in and I can’t imagine it any other way. He is us.

So all that “hard”–was just for the best thing ever.

——-

And then I thought of the community.

Again, I’m just being honest: I’ve asked many times recently if things are growing at all. If we’re supposed to stay, for how long, for what. Stephen is a visionary, and I’m…well, I feel like I’m always tired. And sometimes I can only see the tasks. The tired. (Read: Hi, I’m a pessimist introducing myself as a realist.)

Recently I’ve asked if we’re getting anywhere. I’ve asked if it matters if you give someone a job if they are still in a painful marriage. I’ve asked if it helps to provide temporary safety if they are just going to return to a dangerous situation. I’ve asked if it helps to expose them to things that are always out of reach. I’ve asked if we are helping. Or not.

But then I wondered: what if were just on the cusp of something? What if we throw in the towel, but all this is for…something? Something just around the corner?

What if that something is the best thing?

(There is some optimism in there somewhere.)

In Ezekiel 37, Ezekiel sees the valley of dry bones. This verse has been referenced, mentioned, prayed for us, & prophesied so many times in the past year or so. It just keeps coming up from different people, different sides of the world and in different contexts. So I keep coming back to it, and I’ve been reading through all of Ezekiel.

Ezekiel had a really hard, challenging life and calling. He spends chapter after chapter, season after season, telling people really hard, awful things about punishment and discipline. At one point (chapter 24), God tells him he’s going to “take the delight of your eyes away from you” and his wife dies. But he is told not to mourn, but to continue prophesying these awful, sad things.

Then he sees this valley in chapter 37, and these are the lines that have been reverberating in my mind for the past year:

“Can these bones live?”
“O Lord God, you know.”
…there was a sound, and behold, a rattling…
…bone to its bone…
…there were sinews on them…
…flesh had come upon them…
…skin had covered them…
But there was no breath in them.
…And the breath came into them, and they lived and stood on their feet,
an exceedingly great army.

Sometimes it just feels like there are dry bones.

But what if an army is coming?

What if there is a rattling: in that marriage and in her and in his future and in his life? What if his marriage takes on flesh and breath? What if their family takes on life? What if she can go to university and what if he doesn’t hit his future wife?

What if they get to see God put bone to bone, sinews and flesh and skin upon it; what if they get to feel His breath in them?

Because I don’t want my neighbors to be convinced of my faith: I want them to see what I see. I want them to see the God who makes dry bones live.

——-

It’s possible an army ins’t coming, too. Ezekiel saw so much sorrow and so much sadness, too. It’s possible that Stephen & Oak are the army, the wins. And maybe we just have to be faithful anyway.

I don’t know. I really only know that I don’t know. My theology is more broken down and foggy than ever before.

I don’t know how long we’ll be here, how long Oak will know this street or how many languages he’ll grow up using. I’m not sure if an army is coming or not.

But I think we’ll be here a bit longer in hope. The three of us, waiting for a rattling.

friendships.

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I’d say you never can guess how friendships will play out. And sometimes you look back over so, so many years and its just funny to see how it went.

Stephen & I met Mary & Laj in university, through the campus ministry that I traveled to Thailand with in 2006. Mary & Laj were both on that trip actually, and we came to Mae Sot together. They’ve continued working with that campus ministry in Arkansas, and Laj continues to bring a team most summers. Stephen and I found ourselves unexpectedly living here for nine years.

Adam & Nu live at a migrant school outside of Mae Sot, where Mary & Laj have come to visit for years. It was five years ago, when Mary & Nu were both pregnant, and that we all sat down and played a game of Ticket to Ride together.

Mary & Laj went back to Arkansas; Adam & Nu became sweet friends of ours here.

And then this year, Mary got to join Laj at the end of the short-term trip he led (flying with two under four by herself!), and we became an unlikely group of six old friends that know each other in so many different capacities. And thanks to a number of miracles, we also brought along four little kiddos that got to play together.

To take some time away and really enjoy the company of these friends, we went to Chiang Mai! It was full of highs and lows and that seems the easiest way to capture it.

High: The Flour & Flowers bouquet from the week before was absolutely stunning, so I popped it in our car to enjoy on the ride.

High: A husband who will drive through the mountains in the rain, with flowers in his cupholder, while you sit in the back seat with the kiddo.

High: Oak traveled great on the way up, and we even got to see old friends from Mae Sot that just returned to live in Chiang Mai!

Low: I was silly enough not to get a picture with them.

High: Oak’s first trip to the zoo!

Low: We threw a lot of food into the lake instead of the hippo’s mouth.

High: The giraffes and penguins, which were both favorites.

High: Living in a country with fewer safety regulations! Oak got to feed a jaguar raw beef on a stick.

High: Oak’s first elephant visit!

High: A peaceful raft ride through beautiful mountains, including a driver (sailor? captain? rower? gondolier?) who spoke Burmese.


High: Living in a country with fewer safety regulations, we also got to feed the elephants and take photos with them.

Low: Discovering that the elephants will have none of the one-banana-at-a-time game. They will have them all. Now. And I will take a bottle of hand sanitizer.

Low: Despite the guide suggesting you sit on the elephant’s leg, it’s a bad idea. Makes for a silly looking photo and makes you a prime target for the trunk of the elephant.

Low: Oak didn’t like being within reach of the elephant’s trunk.

High: Riding an elephant! Oak loved being out of reach of the trunk on a ride through the river and jungle.

High: Our boy is smart! He figured out how to open the bar across our laps while riding! And mom managed to close it back before we fell out, so we’ll count that as a high.

High: Delicious dinners out with friends.

High: Friends you have known for over a decade!

High: FRIENDS. Who meet your son and love on him and melt you.

High: We weren’t really sure how to celebrate the 4th of July on our travel day, so we did our best to wear red and then had a classic American coffee.

High: Oak learning to ride on Stephen’s shoulders! (And the cardi!)

High: These eyelashes. And a sleeping babe on a road trip.

Low: The sleeping was followed by a whole lot of vomit.

Low: We pushed it, staying as long as we could with friends before returning. This meant we got in late Thursday (with a sick child and vomit on many, many things) and then had to start cinnamon rolls at 5am on Friday. Followed by playhouse and English classes and Family Dinner until 9pm that evening.

Low: I got bit by a neighbor’s dog within twelve hours of returning home, so we also spent part of the day getting rabies vaccinations. Again.

(I was bit by a dog once before, in 2016, and annoyingly that was also on a Friday! I know this because you have to get shots every week for a month following, and it’s always so difficult to fit in on every Friday for a whole month. Ridiculous.)

High: Friends & adventures.

favorites.

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These are a few of Oak’s favorite things.

I Wish You More by Amy Krouse Rosenthal & Tom Lichtenheld. This was gifted to us in the years we waited for Oak, and he absolutely loves it. We read it every night before bed, and some days a few more times. He has different motions for the pages and it still melts my heart even when I’ve seen it every day for weeks now.

Cinnamon rolls. A true Flour & Flowers classic, a Blunier family tradition become a Spurlock tradition! This was his first, and he loved it. This morning we had let dad sleep in a bit, I made eggs for Oak & I, then pulled a pan of cinnamon rolls out of the oven. He immediately ran off, “DAD! DAD!”

Music. Oak is showing us how much he loves music, asking for it to be playing by bringing us a little bluetooth speaker or asking for drums. He also does the “Wheels on the Bus” motions to tell us he wants music or Stephen to play the guitar. He loves to drum with dad & play cajon by himself. He’ll often ask for Dad to play the guitar for him, and this week Oak sat for about twenty minutes while Kyaw Gee played for him.

The Burmese alphabet poster, laminated. It can be rolled and unrolled, or simply carted around from place to place. What better toy could one ask for?

Fake sleeping. He does this most often in his car seat, when we tell him not to fall asleep on the way home, but he generally thinks its fun any place and any time, to pretend to sleep while smiling broadly.

Mister Rogers. This might be because it’s the only thing we’ve let him watch on a screen, but we’ve just started last week watching an episode on Sunday night as a family. He giggles with glee, answers the questions, and stares in awe. (I think he’s heroic, too, Oak!) It’s become a fun family activity, once with a chocolate at the end and once with hot chocolate after a rainy bike ride. (We’ve only done it twice, so…that’s it so far!)

Being outside. He loves being outside any way he can get there: whether we’re visiting the neighbors’ pigs and chickens, going for a bike ride, swimming, or riding in the jogging stroller while I run. He will ask and ask and ask to go outside, pointing to every thing that will get him there! It’s been a great way to get time with him, get our exercise in, and also just get some introverted time for all of us. He seems very extroverted, but still seems to reach a limit in the community, when he just wants to sit by himself. Each of us on a tandem bike seat works great for this 🙂

Cleaning. He loves to “help” out, particularly with sweeping, dishes, cooking, and stacking chairs. (We live in a country where most chairs and stools are both light-weight plastic and stackable: at church, at restaurants, and in our house. He likes to ask you to get up so he can stack your chair.)

The scrubber brush. I bought a new dish scrubber for Stephen’s “coffee bar” (that sounds far too Pinterest-y for the coffee|makeup|laundry|tools combo that cupboard is) a few weeks ago, and he loved it right when I pulled it off the shelf. He held it through the store and checkout, on the car ride home, and then went right to the scissors to ask me to cut the tag off. He held onto it for most of the day, prompting me to buy him another the next week on our store trip. He then took it around town with us through the week and it went with us on our road trip to visit friends! I think he’s genuinely using it to “clean.” He had it with him when we walked into a used wood shop in the market–with dirt floors and dirt-covered wood everywhere–at which point he handed it to me and pointed, as if to say, “You help on this one.”

Ice. It’s one of his favorite snacks.

_____________

These are a few of our favorite things.

Cardigans and long pants. Maybe it’s because we spend every day in shorts and t-shirts, but the cardigans and pants are just too much. The cardi in particular just makes me think we’ll be the best of friends.

“One!” It started over meals: we do a one-one deal at most meals to make sure he’s getting proteins and vegetables. One piece of chicken, then one piece of fruit; or one bite of vegetables, then one bite of bread. Really I just pick whatever his favorite thing is (sometimes ice or soup broth, even) and make that the reward for whatever I’d like him to eat! We also have a system with naps: since we need him to be able to nap anywhere depending on our days, we give him a snack-size bag of his favorite little chocolate koala snacks. He gets one before going to sleep, then the rest of the little pack when he wakes up. Its been working well, so that he has the one and then tries to sleep, which is enough if he’s tired! And now–my favorite part–he says, “One!” when he sees the bag of snacks or his ready for his reward bite; whenever. It’s adorable.

Kisses. He gives so many kisses, particularly in the morning and evening. Its his primary way to be affectionate, and it’s so very sweet.

“Bye!” This is his favorite word and so very common. He says bye to most the people we pass in stores, the cars that pass us, and sometimes when we leave the room. He says bye when he goes to sleep, which is adorable.

His first time to watch Mister Rogers. Last Sunday we watched our first episode, and it was just amazing. He wore his cardigan, and he just laughed and laughed. He was so enthralled and responsive.

Belly laughs. When he really, truly thinks something is funny, he just rolls with laughter. The easiest way to do this is jokes about where people sleep. If he lays down in mom’s spot or dad’s spot and closes his eyes, he’s laugh uncontrollably. He had a tent for the first few weeks as we were traveling, and every night he’d tell us to get in it–then roll with laughter when we didn’t fit. Every night. Same routine. Same belly laugh. Same silly parents going along with it because they just can’t get enough!

beautiful things.

by Filed Under: house church, kelli, on the house, photos, playhouse, schoolhouse 1 Comment

It has been quite a month.

We really love living here, and we love this community. But I’ll be honest–and I have been here for years, so you know this already–we’re often in over our heads. And this has been true for nearly a decade now.

And then we adopted a toddler–who can run and shout and touch hot things!–but isn’t able to say much and is doing his best to grasp at English, Burmese, and remnants of Thai.

And so I’m looking through all the photos and realizing just how much there is to say: so many great things! And even I say them, I know they are each too amazing and too great to have waited this long!

But other things won out in priority–mostly keeping our little community center running and hiring eleven people, while keeping a toddler fed and rested and as minimally injured as possible.

First, baptisms! Our church celebrated three baptisms in the past month, including one of the teenagers in our community! He’s an English and guitar student, and his family attends our church regularly. So thankful to celebrate this with them!

Also we just generally love our church: baptisms by the reservoir, big hats and umbrellas.

Our church also hosted a three-day discipleship training, which Stephen and The Reinforcers managed sound and PowerPoint for.

This week after church they gave out free umbrellas for the children and students who are walking to school every day during rainy season. We love their intentionality in the community! We also love that umbrellas are legitimately something everyone gets excited about, kids and teenagers alike.

One of my best girls, Yaminoo, which many of you remember, now lives at the church with a few other young women. She still attends school with many of her friends in the community and she comes to our house after school and through the summer for English classes.

And, after she and I both waiting patently week after week, seeing Oak only on Sundays and Tuesdays, he decided he liked her. So while this photo isn’t all that amazing, it was a milestone. It felt like he just decided to like his big sister!

We are still doing Family Dinner, but we now host it once per month. We all gather around the colorful, delicious meals that Thida cooks up. Then we have a teacher come and attend a Life Skills class together.

Over the past few months, every Family Dinner has held a big announcement: in April we had just received Oak’s photo and shared it with them; in May we announced we’d be leaving the next week to pick him up! Then he joined us for June.

Our sweet sister Phway Phway also came with great news: she passed her Grade 10 matriculation! For those outside of Burma, this won’t mean much: but it’s incredible. Only about 1/3 of the population passes, and she received high marks. She’ll be able to attend university in December if she can determining a funding plan.

Her mom, Thida, was SO PROUD. We were all just beaming for her!

She returned from a year studying in Burma in March, shortly after we visited her. We have connected her and subsidized a position for her at a local organization–the same organization that provides our language classes and self-defense course; also our Life Skills class and previously our sewing training! There, she is working with other Christians, getting more comfortable in her English, and learning basic office and management skills.

She’s planning to work there until December, when she’s hoping to be off to university!

Sojourn Studio is still present in our home a few days a week, and the ladies are working hard on new designs.

They are just releasing three new stud designs, which will soon be available on Etsy under Sojourn Studio. Our neighbor ladies make great models!

Our Schoolhouse classes have been restructured now that there is a toddler to be looked after, but they are still happening! I am now teaching English on Tuesday, twice on Thursday, Friday, and then twice on Saturday. Stephen is still teaching guitar twice and cajon twice through the week, and recently started a coding class. One student is really doing well with coding and learning some great problem-solving skills.

Our house is still a playhouse five days a week in the afternoon!

This is Oak’s favorite friend. They are always up for a hug.

Her mom told us today that she asked about going to English class–Toddler Schoolhouse. Her daughter said she didn’t want to go this week, until she heard Oak was back from Bangkok and then decided to join! 😍

Sometimes, when family disputes happen, our house becomes a playhouse much later into the evening. Thankfully, we always have snacks and toys and, now, a playmate!

We’re also still celebrating community birthdays, sometimes with cake and sometimes with something extra special! The newest Reinforcer just turned fifteen this month, so we had a small party with his friends.

See how beautiful it is? Our church is growing and thriving. Our friends are producing beautiful work and accomplishing great things! Our neighbors are coming to play and rest. And now there’s always a toddler in the middle of it!

safety.

by Filed Under: house calls, house church, housewares, kelli, on the house, photos, stephen 1 Comment

We got a new lock for our front door.

This might not seem significant, but I love what it represents. For years we have had the same lock on our front door, and we’ve slowly been sharing keys. I’m not sure how many we’ve printed now: too many to count. Not only do all our employees have keys, but we also have provided keys to women in challenging domestic situations so that they are able to leave and find a safe place when necessary. Because of this, we also lock it from the outside every night, ensuring people can get in even if we’re asleep or away.

As we worked through our self-defense class earlier this year and dealt with a few different situations, Stephen wasn’t sure it was a great plan, though. It’s hard to flee a situation and remember to grab your key and papers; it’s also fairly easy to take a key from someone or lose it. There were times some friends didn’t have access to a key and thus didn’t come when we were away.

So Stephen started researching. As he loves technology anyway, it was a new challenge. Within a few months, he found a new lock technology that reads fingerprints, storing up to fifty. It also connects to our phones, telling us when the door is both unlocked and locked.

And so, this week we replaced the old lock with this new one, fully equipped with a number of fingers: the bread ladies, The Reinforcers, the jewelry & sewing ladies, the Sojourn Studio staff, our house manager, the girls in our self-defense class, & the two teenagers who are responsible for the community soccer ball! Stephen made sure all the fingerprints were saved and working; everyone was duly impressed.

And best of all, women can escape to our house without finding a key first. They always have their finger with them, and it’s ready and waiting. It’s also helpful that we know a bit of what’s going on when we’re away, seeing as people come and go. If anything goes wrong, we can even remote-access open it, which just blows my mind.

We were pretty excited about this for many reasons.

And then we headed off to Bangkok. It opened one night pretty late, and we wondered a bit about the kids putting the ball away so late and made a note to follow up with them. (We had told them it needed to be in by 9pm, it was a bit after that.)

But instead it was one of our staff members, a dear friend. She told us she and her son had stayed at the house two nights while we were away because of some problems with she & her husband.

And while this isn’t great to hear, it also is. It’s times like this we are thankful we are here, or at least our house is: for such a time as this! And we’re thankful for a place we can share with friends freely, for work and play and safety.

So a new lock is sort of a big deal around here.

and it was all yellow.

by Filed Under: kelli, photos Leave a Comment

This past week we had the honor of visiting Bangkok to represent the Child Adoption Center at a national press conference! The government adoption agency that we went through to adopt Oak invited us to come back and share at a press conference promoting both adoption in Thailand and the return of internationally-adopted Thai children to visit Thailand.

True to form, we knew about this press conference but didn’t have a date until just a few days before. We booked tickets somewhat last minute and pulled together our plans to make it work. Either way, we felt it was a great opportunity to help them and continue to build relationships within the agency. We also loved the opportunity to promote adoption, in Thailand or anywhere!

But first, Oak’s first flight! He did great on the short flight from Mae Sot to Bangkok. He loved the snacks and books and a nap.

For the observant folks, you’ll be noticing the bandage on Oak’s left hand in this photo and every single one following. So I’ll interrupt my own story to explain that he grabbed a soldering iron last week and has two blisters. They should be healed up soon, and he’s been a complete champ: he cried for about an hour, calmed down with some Pez & went to sleep. Since then he hasn’t even said it hurt; he hasn’t cried again or whined over it. He faithfully holds his hand out to the side and protects it! We’re hoping the bandage will be off later this week.

He loved that you could see the BTS trains from most any place in our hotel. It’s also helpful that they continue to come every three to six minutes.

On Tuesday, we were all ready with our yellow outfits to honor the newest government leaders. We had shopped over the weekend, since our wardrobes held absolutely no yellow.

Upon arriving, they had yellow polos for us to wear to match everyone. It was…bright. Brighter than I’ve ever warn. But we also looked more Thai than we ever have! And I’m just not sure how to describe it, except to say it was all yellow. It was ALL YELLOW.

This is how Oak felt about most of the day. As the only foreigners in the room, holding an adorable Thai toddler who was sometimes screaming, we drew a whole lot of attention! It wasn’t easy for any of us to be on camera all day. 😆

Oak did get to see his two favorite caregivers from the children’s home, both of whom he remembered! They came with a group of children doing a performance at the press conference.

We were interviewed by both a major news station and in the press conference. I’d link them except a) they are 98% in Thai and b) it’s embarrassing. It was hard to know what they were wanting, and how to carefully honor all parties involved. We were nervous; and the results are mixed.

Either way, we are so thankful for the Child Adoption Center and all they do in Thailand. We are so excited to promote more adoption in Thailand.

We also love the idea behind program they host every three years: The Nativeland Visit Program, which welcomes back Thai children that have been internationally adopted to visit Thailand with their parents and families. Together, the social workers and families learn about Thai history and culture, participating in many traditional activities. We hope to participate in the future!

After the press conference, our social worker helped us to submit the paperwork for Oak’s passport. It was easier than we expected, and we picked it up at the end of the week!

Otherwise, we spent the week enjoying Bangkok. Since we do have a communal home and many, many aunties and sisters and brothers and grandmas and uncles and friends, we are trying to be intentional with some of our family-of-three time. We took this week to enjoy swimming at the hotel, train trips, ice cream trips, and playing together.

He was protesting photos for most of the week, though, often smiling just as we put the camera away. He did smile most of the time, even if we struggled to capture it!

We also did a bit of shopping for Oak and found a cardigan. I wasn’t sure he’d wear it, but on sale for $5? I had to try.

He decided to wear it on our way home and loved it. I melted. He looks just like Mister Rogers!

{Also, shout out to H&M, which puts sweet little inspirations on the buttons of their kids clothes! His shorts buttons say “Be Kind Be Brave” and his cardigan buttons say “I like you a lot.”😍}

We said our goodbyes to the hotel staff, who LOVED Oak’s regular & loud thank yous and byes in the lobby. One of the staff told us, “I will miss my boy!”

And then we hopped in our Grab, which was unique enough to be worth noting. She really loved Hello Kitty. And Pink Panther. And sweets. Oak’s face says what Stephen and I were thinking.

Oak using his passport for the first time to return to Mae Sot!


{Confession: I only sort our laundry by color when we get back from a trip and we have enough to make that worth my energy. I think it’s beautiful to see all the color schemes; but just impractical every other day of my life. And while we usually have a red|pink|purple collection and a blue|black|green assortment, this was the first time I’ve ever had to do a yellow load!}