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love is hard.

July 31, 2020 by Stephen & Kelli Spurlock Filed Under: kelli Leave a Comment

This has been ruminating in my mind, a quote from one of my favorite authors, Fredrick Backman in Beartown.

“Hate can be a deeply stimulating emotion.
The world becomes much easier to understand

and much less terrifying
if you divide everything and everyone into friends and enemies,
we and they,
good and evil.
The easiest way to unite a group isn’t through love,
because love is hard.
It makes demands.
Hate is simple.”

I’d gladly recommend anything he’s written. He’s a brilliant analyzer of the society that surrounds us and the realities that make us. But this quote from Beartown is so well said, as I watch the world right now–in particular my American world. It is so close, and yet so far away from me.

And it is so divided.

Love IS hard. It demands so much of us.

I have just been letting this roll around in my mind for a few days, wondering where I’m contributing.
Am I adding to the love or the division?
Am I creating a we|they or an us?
Am I dividing or unifying?

In 1 Corinthians 13, we see all the demands of love: love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy or boast, love is not arrogant, love is not rude…love bears all things, love believes all things, love hopes all things, love endures all things.

{Love is HARD.}

I’m trying to love anyway.

feeling old and loving youth.

July 28, 2020 by Stephen & Kelli Spurlock Filed Under: house church, kelli, on the house, photos, playhouse, schoolhouse Leave a Comment

Per usual, every season looks different for us. And ’tis the season for youth!

As things unfolded after our COVID quarantine here in Mae Sot, we have seen more and more opportunities for the youth in our community. I can’t always explain how things unfold, but we have a youth room now. And twice a week, we have youth night: one night with dinner, English and games; a second with a bible study and games. For English, we are doing a study on Planet Earth, and we’re all learning so much! For our bible study, we are working through the Alpha Series for youth, and we are really enjoying the conversations it’s opening up.

We also mix in a few birthdays and movie nights! And they are loving the new games we have set up on the projector each week.

We also have a whole lot of youth working with us, particularly Stephen. We have hired Pyint Soe full-time, so he works with us five days a week. He continues to serve at church, running sound and Powerpoint, and manages all of the correspondence with our pastor. He also makes the bulletin and oversees four other youth helping to gather the materials for each week. Through this, they are all learning live sound, Powerpoint, typing in Burmese, and other computer skills.

We also have these youth creating a database of music resources for the Burmese church. Pyint Soe is also overseeing this: teaching three teenagers from our church to type in Burmese and use computers regularly, as well as overseeing all the data entry. He’s incredibly organized and a great teacher; and he and Stephen are quite similar. He’s perfect for this!

Further, Stephen continues to train Pyint Soe and two of the other youth on sound recording and editing.

They are working on two different projects right now as they continue to do at-home education because of COVID. Their more-open schedules are allowing them to continue working, and a few of them are practicing & learning musical instruments two to three times per week.

In all, this hires seven youth in our church and community each week, providing snack money for those living at the church with their needs provided for. For those in our community, this helps to provide for their families each week.

Beyond this, Stephen also has two interns from the local technical college working with him for six months. They are working on an album as a part of OneHouse–including weekly translation nights!

As you can see this adding up, it’s busy. Thankfully, we have Lun helping is all of this! Also thankfully, Oak loves the youth; he can join for Planet Earth, and our meals with the youth and translators. It is fun to hear him call for his “big sisters” and “big brothers” when they walk in the door. He also prays for them every night before bed.

That said, having your toddler call the youth his brothers and sisters has a way of making you feel quite old. Then I cringed at one of the girl’s gaudy make-up, and encouraged another not to just stare at their phones all day, and then crashed into bed after doing the dishes at 9:30pm…it’s all making me feel a bit old.

Even feeling old, it is so fun to have this time with the youth every week. They are all in really pivotal seasons, both making big decisions now and having more on the horizon.

Speaking of all the decisions they have on their horizons–leave it to me to have a language blunder & make a story!

We have a prayer board at the front of our church, and last week I was reading it, where it had 26.07.2020 in big letters, and then an announcement. I didn’t know the first word, but the second is “celebration”–used often in wedding ceremonies–and then had two names: Khiang Khaing Win, who comes to youth and works with us, and another name I didn’t know.

I sort of panicked: getting married? She’s only fifteen! And she’s living at the church–the same place Yaminoo lives and is also fifteen. My brain was scrambling. Was she pregnant and they were requiring her to marry? What brought this on?! I hadn’t even heard of a boyfriend. It all seemed so fast, and I was completely overwhelmed. I was already trying to figure out how I’d make a cake in the next week, because I knew I’d be asked to provide the wedding cake.

Then they announced it up front–the following week, a word I didn’t know + the word sounding like wedding; everyone responding happily…I was overwhelmed.

After the service, I ran up to Yaminoo and asked, “She’s getting married? I don’t understand! Who?”
To which Yaminoo responded, “Yes! Khaing Khaing Win! Wait? What?”
“She’s getting MARRIED?”
“NO! WHAT?!”

Turns out the word I didn’t know and kept skipping was the word for baptism. A baptism celebration. No cake needed, no boy involved, and nothing to panic over. And a week’s notice now seemed acceptable 🙄

Yaminoo and I cleared it up, but of course the crazy foreigner lady’s language blunder made the rounds.

But we did have a lovely thing to celebrate this Sunday!

grace is here.

May 20, 2020 by Stephen & Kelli Spurlock Filed Under: kelli 1 Comment

I think I’m with many–dare I say all?–when I say that it’s been a challenging season.

There have been so many beautiful moments that came out of our quarantine, and I don’t want to miss that.

Oh, I don’t want to miss it. This season with our son and as a family of three: to have so much time together just before we celebrate one year with him, while still living so engrossed in a community? This is something we are so grateful for and will forever cherish as a gift to us, just as he is.

And while I don’t want to miss the beautiful moments, I also don’t want to ignore the messier, uglier ones.

While we can’t host classes yet, we have welcomed our employees back to work. It’s been truly harder than just going back to normal: without normal routines of school and church and a neighborhood full of stir-crazy kids (including our own), we are trying to produce something. It’s a lot of work.

This week we hired a new employee, in somewhat epic proportions for our little home. He’s nearly full time, and–if I’m honest–it feels risky. It’s a risk of our time and energy and investment. It’s a risk for our family and our time together. It’s a risk for us financially.

Today, I was talking with one of my best friends in the community. I love her, respect her, learn from her often. We talked about her family, her kids; my family, my kids.

And for some reason, today I saw that she is in poverty. She is thriving more now than before, but in poverty. She is still there, her kids are still struggling to get out of it. Her kids are still walking in the challenges of it, as they go to school and marry and have kids and live life. The cycles are there, in the life of one of my best friends. And even ten years later, and with years ahead where I’ll keep fighting for her: there is so little I can do about it.

The cycles. The investments. The risks. The work. The choices.

That’s what has felt the most significant to me: it is a choice to create work and produce things together amidst the chaos. It is a choice to risk and hope and believe that God is making something grow. It is a choice to keep fighting cycles. It is a choice to keep hoping for wins when you see losses.

_____________

Late tonight, after all the [necessary] to do list items were completed, I took the recommendations of a husband who knows me better than I know myself, and I jumped rope and did my yoga.

I breathed in and out. And I listened to It Is Finished by Passion.

It is done, it is finished
Christ has won, He is risen
Grace is here
Love has triumphed over death forever

Strongholds
Bowing to the Savior
Resurrection power
Over every circumstance
His word stands final and forever
It will not be shaken
He alone has won it all

…This is how I fight my battles | This is how I fight my battles

I thought of our home and how grace is here. I thought of every circumstance, a God who is unshaken and winning. I thought of my battles: being fought over a day of making things work, of taking risks, of hoping.

I’m fighting my battles my jumping rope while being reminded that Christ has won. By breathing in and out over my yoga mat reminded that His word stands final and forever. By getting up and investing again tomorrow, knowing strongholds bow to the Savior. By taking risks believing in the power of the resurrection.

I want to choose honesty here and just say that sometimes I’m not sure if we’re getting this right. I’m not sure if we’re getting anywhere. I’m not sure if the cycles are being broken. I’m not sure if the seeds are growing or things are changing.

And while I make the choices and risks and investments of myself, I worry about the ones that affect my son. I worry about the thousands of dollars invested in this neighborhood, in us, and in our friends.

Grace is here.
Grace is here.
Grace is here.

This is how I fight my battles.
This is how I fight my battles.
This is how I fight my battles.

party of three.

May 18, 2020 by Stephen & Kelli Spurlock Filed Under: kelli, photos Leave a Comment

We’re calling it Party of Three Day, and it’s here!

One year ago, we brought this little boy home and became a party of three.

What a year it’s been, to watch him grow and flourish and learn. To find his place and tell us about it often.

We spent our party outside, enjoying the sunshine and shade, hiking and picnicking and splashing in the river.

He is the best three to our party.

overwhelmed.

May 11, 2020 by Stephen & Kelli Spurlock Filed Under: kelli Leave a Comment

I’ve been sitting in the stories of Ahmaud Arbery as I come across them. Sitting, reading, listening, praying, considering, mourning. I ran with them beating on my chest.

I’ve been sitting on this from @JahnaRiley: “Question for the white folks on my tl: What are you doing to make sure that you’re raising children who won’t kill mine?”

And then we watched Becoming this weekend and felt more American pride than I have in awhile. I remembered why I loved the Obamas, why I read all their biographies, and why I’d vote #michelleforpresident any day. One scene in particular stayed with me, though: a little boy, maybe about ten years old, screaming and celebrating as the Obamas entered the White House. A little boy of color celebrating a President of color; someone that looks like him, entering the White House. 

Today, my son laid on my chest as I read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, where he writes about the snap, subconscious decisions we make. He talks about race, about our implicit biases, about the dark judgements we want to pretend aren’t there. 

But they are.

Gladwell quotes Aronson, a psychologist, “After the O.J. Simpson verdict, one of the jurors appeared on TV and said with absolute conviction, ‘Race had absolutely nothing to do with my decision.’ But how on earth could she know that? What my research…show(s) is that people are ignorant of the things that affect their actions, yet they rarely feel ignorant. We need to accept our ignorance and say ‘I don’t know’ more often.”

I think today I just need to sit in the I don’t knows.

______________

This weekend Stephen and I finished reading Generous Justice by Timothy Keller. In the last chapter he writes, “God created all things to be in a beautiful, harmonious, interdependent, knitted, webbed relationship to one another…This interwovenness is what the Bible calls shalom, or harmonious peace. ‘Shalom’ is usually translated ‘peace’ in English Bibles, but it means far more than what our English word conveys. It means complete reconciliation, a state of the fullest flourishing in every dimension—physical, emotional, social, and spiritual—because all relationships are right, perfect, and filled with joy. …Specifically, however, to ‘do justice’ means to go to the places where the fabric of shalom has broken down, where the weaker members of societies are falling through the fabric, and to repair it. …The only way to reweave and strengthen the fabric is by weaving yourself into it.”

This weekend was also American Mother’s Day. My first since we brought home our son, and falling exactly one week before we celebrate one year as a family of three. 

We’ve been weaving ourselves together for nearly a year. 
We’re trying to weave ourselves into a community that speaks a different language than all of three of us.
We’re trying to figure out how to weave ourselves into the healing of racism around the world. 
We’re trying to weave ourselves into justice.

But I am ignorant in all of these things. 

I don’t know how to use my privilege to bring reconciliation.
I don’t know how to raise a son of color or adoption; of shalom, of reconciliation.
I don’t know how to reweave the brokenness of my neighborhood, nor our world.

______________

Somehow, all of these are colliding together, demanding connections and conclusions that aren’t my specialty. 

I’m overwhelmed. 

Overwhelmed for myself, and how I blink; how to weave myself into shalom. 
Overwhelmed by my own ignorance. 
Overwhelmed for my country, my friends, my family, my son.
Overwhelmed for justice.

back to complicated.

April 28, 2020 by Stephen & Kelli Spurlock Filed Under: kelli Leave a Comment

On 20 March, when we heard the first word of Thailand closing down for Covid quarantines, I hated the idea of stopping everything we were in the middle of.

We had plans for the summer months here: English classes and Bible classes, extra training for The Reinforcers that were just taking off, youth nights and movie nights, a Bible study leading up to Easter. We would still continue Flour & Flowers and sewing and guitar lessons. Oak was loving school and thriving; learning three languages and making friends across so many cultures.

And then it all stopped. So suddenly.

I felt disappointment, like so many other people around the world. The fear, the unknowns, the questions. We all felt it.

And then I felt some thing else, but I’m not sure every one else did or not…

I wasn’t sure I wanted to go back. And even more, I wasn’t sure I could.

There are parts of me that have wanted to get out of this community nearly since we got into it. So many days I love it, and so many days I want to run in the other direction. So many days I think we might be making it, and other days I know I’m so far in over my head.

But, whether for personality or situation or Jesus, we just kept going. We knew it was right, so we moved forward. We knew we could do today, so we did it.

There was enough good that we hoped.

But we’ve never stopped quite like this before. We’ve never had the community pulled out from under us and found ourselves all alone in our house.

I’ll admit I loved having the kitchen to myself. I loved that I knew exactly where everything was every time I went in there. I loved that I knew it was my fault if the ants got into this or that.

That was the first thing I noticed: I wasn’t sure I wanted to share my kitchen again.

But I also loved that I didn’t have to be showered and dressed by nine every day. I loved that we had all our evenings together, just us. No English lessons or guitar lessons or anything. Just us.

I sort of loved speaking English all the time. It’s so much easier. I just studied my language every day, learning a few new vocabulary words, and then it was back to easy-peasy English.

I loved spending so much time with my son. I didn’t worry about who he was attaching to or if I was giving him enough of my attention. He most definitely was getting enough attention all day every day. I didn’t worry about his exposure to drunkenness or profanities I don’t even know or toy guns. No one tried to show him a phone of something I wasn’t sure what it was; or tried to feed him yet another snack.

I loved the time I got with my husband, not struggling to stay on top of our to-do lists or what had to be done by tomorrow; not jealous for his time with teenagers and projects. I loved the time we spent on bicycles and walking; the long conversations. I loved how many times we made breakfast together in the kitchen that now had space for both of us.

In short, it was just easier.

Community living is hard. Opening your front door is hard.

And a part of me just wanted to keep it closed or moved away or just…choose easier.

I’m not even sure that would be bad. I think more importantly, it’s caused me to ask all the questions.

Maybe just because it’s easier doesn’t mean it’s really what I want.

I want to be a person who shares, whether it’s food or money or kitchen space or control or life or time.

I want to be a person that is sometimes uncomfortable for the sake of someone else being more comfortable. I want to value connection enough to work for it, study for it, and perhaps literally groan for it as I struggle to recall the word on the tip of my tongue.

I want to be a person that lets my child experience life, and I just want to experience it right along with him. It’s okay if that pushes us to talk about both drunkenness and asking before eating snacks at age three.

I want to be a person who shares my husband because he can contribute so much to so many. I also want to be someone who cherishes the time with him, even if that is in muddy mess of doing life together.

So in some ways, we’re going back to complicated next week. We’re opening up our doors again. There will be more languages and more chaos and more drama and more mess.

I’m just hoping I’m up for the challenge.
I’m just hoping there is enough good to keep hoping.

covid food distributions, take five.

April 27, 2020 by Stephen & Kelli Spurlock Filed Under: kelli, on the house, photos Leave a Comment

Once more, from the top!

Mae Sot has been so very protected from Covid, and we’ve only had three cases total. The last one was on 4 April, so if things go well, we might open up more on 30 April; we’re waiting for the government statements releasing this week. We are SO THANKFUL.

And with that, we’re preparing to re-open things starting this Friday! This, hopefully, was our last food distribution to help the community weather the economic challenge of quarantine.

We’re thankful for all those who helped us do this: to those who gave financially, to Thida who helped me pack our car ridiculously full at the market each week, to the teenagers who carried bag after bag! We’re also thankful to be back to development-based projects very soon.

the longest april ever.

April 20, 2020 by Stephen & Kelli Spurlock Filed Under: kelli, photos Leave a Comment

Yeah, it’s still April. We’re still quarantining; you’re still quarantining.

Here’s what’s keeping us “busy.” (In summary: a 93-centimeter toddler. And food distributions one, two, three, and four.)


We’re still taking lots of walks and bicycle rides! Sometimes we get to follow cow or goats, sometimes horses.

Sometimes we deliver cakes for community birthdays! (And on this day, onions from the market.)

The road construction workers definitely recognize us now; yesterday one opened his excavator window to wave at Oak 😍

So. many. walks.
So. many. bicycle rides.
In the twenty days of April so far, we’ve walked 47.3 kilometers and bicycled 177.5 kilometers as a family. 😳

If that wasn’t enough time together, Oak has recently liked to pull all our chairs to one very small side of our table for meals.

We’ve also gone for a few picnics, mostly after picking up food from our favorite restaurants that we hope can stay in business through this 😬

And at one picnic we also did some rock throwing, and this gave me one my favorite quarantine photos to date. He’s a big fan of his dad.

And then we’ve baked and cooked; and we’ve tried all the things we wanted to try! Stephen has perfected the poached egg; we’ve made hollandaise. We’ve made bagels every week. We found a recipe that comes as close to gyro meat as we’ve ever found in Thailand, so we’ve made gyros and pitas and tzatziki sauce…really whatever we get a fancy to try, we do. And our quarantine is officially sponsored by sweet potatoes, as we’re going through two kilograms per week–with just the three of us. Oak loves them and is eating them every. single. day.

We’re also trying to do some form of school every day–or at least that’s what we’re calling it! We’re focusing on using English and having fun. Oak has recently really loved learning his letters, so we are focusing on one each day.

We wore hats and heart stickers on “H” day.

We ate ice cream on “I” day.

Oak’s been asking to go on an airplane since December. We thought we might be traveling in April or May, but: quarantine. Every time we drive by the airport he makes a sad face and says, “Oak no airplane.”

So we went on a trip. I made an airplane out of tape on the floor, printed off some tickets, and we brought our bags along for a movie and meal on the airplane. {It’s pretty easy to shock and awe a three-year-old, so that’s helpful for quarantine and living in Mae Sot.}

We tried one of Mister Roger’s science experiments, and were successful on our second try after a very large mess!

We got a new visa! Another two weeks. 😳
{To Thailand’s credit, they did extend visa regulations for seemingly everyone else. For some reason ours didn’t qualify. That did mean we were the only non-staff present today.}

And that’s quarantine.

I think we all know this isn’t easy, and I don’t want to pretend it is. There are tears and fears and unknowns. But I am also beyond words thankful for this time as a family of three; I won’t deny that it’s a gift to us, even amidst some of the challenges that have brought us to tears.

covid food distributions, take four.

April 20, 2020 by Stephen & Kelli Spurlock Filed Under: kelli, on the house, photos Leave a Comment

Here we go again!

After a few weeks, it was getting challenging for the youth. Partially, delivering food in 100 degree heat is exhausting. This is also over a couple kilometers, going back and forth; and dealing with people and complaints. So…we revamped. This week, Stephen drove the boys around to different areas, helping with deliveries and trying to help manage the challenge and chaos.

And while we’re getting better and serving more…this isn’t exactly what we’d like to be good at. 🙄 Here’s to hoping it’s just a few more weeks of quarantine in Mae Sot!

wow.

April 14, 2020 by Stephen & Kelli Spurlock Filed Under: kelli, on the house 1 Comment

Thida and I were at the market on Saturday, making our epic purchases for the community. We stopped in at a small pharmacy to get some medicine for an older woman who lives near Thida. She has chronic leg pain and asked for some help.

We made our purchases while Thida and I conversed in Burmese about what she needed and how much it would cost. As we started to walk away, the woman noted, “Wow. You look so much like a white woman.” To which Thida incredulously replied, “She IS a white woman!” 😂

To the woman’s credit, I had my mask on, which covers my nose, and I think my nose would give me away.

…Although I would also think my curly brown hair and light skin would have, so…Wow. I think we both left in awe. 😆

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